Letting Go of a Crush That Never Became More

Letting Go of a Crush That Never Became More

How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated

Neglected feelings can often hurt much more than a breakup. It might be like lamenting a relationship that never happened when you have affections for someone you have never dated. Moving on can be made more difficult by the unresolved issues, the never-ending "what ifs," and the possibility that is yet in the future. The good news, though? You can move past them. Here's how:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Pretending you’re fine or minimizing your emotions won’t help. Recognize that your feelings are valid. You had hopes, dreams, and expectations that didn’t pan out, and it’s okay to grieve that.

2. Cut Back on Contact

If you’re constantly seeing them—whether in person or on social media—it will be harder to move on. Mute them, unfollow if necessary, and create some distance. You don’t have to be dramatic about it, but protecting your mental space is important.

3. Stop Romanticizing the Idea of Them

When you've never actually dated someone, it’s easy to fill in the blanks with fantasy. You might be obsessing over the potential relationship rather than the actual person. Take a step back and ask yourself: Was this person truly as perfect as I imagined, or was I projecting what I wanted onto them?

4. Redirect Your Energy

Focusing on someone who isn’t reciprocating your feelings drains your energy. Instead, invest that energy in yourself—pick up a new hobby, spend time with friends, or dive into personal goals. The more you enrich your life, the less space this person will take up in your mind.

5. Talk About It (But Not Too Much)

It’s helpful to vent to a trusted friend, but be mindful of not letting this person dominate all your conversations. If you catch yourself going in circles about them, it might be time to shift your focus.

6. Date Other People (When You’re Ready)

You don’t have to jump into a rebound, but putting yourself out there can help. Even casual dating can remind you that there are plenty of people out there who could be a better fit.

7. Remind Yourself That Rejection Isn’t a Reflection of Your Worth

Maybe they weren’t interested, or maybe circumstances didn’t align. Either way, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Attraction and relationships are complex—sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay.

8. Be Patient with Yourself

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel fine, and others you might get hit with a wave of emotions. Don’t rush yourself. Moving on takes time, but every step you take is progress.

Final Thoughts

Getting over someone you never dated is about reclaiming your emotional space. It’s about shifting the focus back to yourself, recognizing your worth, and accepting that some things just aren’t meant to be. And that’s okay—because something better will come along.

XoXo Lily